Ice Breaker

Months has passed since my last serious entry… due to some circumstances I was deserting my blog….

As per previous entry, I had left out from my job.. thank God I found new one as soon as the olds company shut down. God is helping me, especially in financial ways.. I’m really thankful for that.. or is that cause of I’m preparing for my wedding (yeah I talk bout it but never had anything confirmed yet.. nothing… and I am really depressed..).. people said God will make your life easier when u desired for a good thing.. what I really hope now; I hope there is a good thing.. that is what I wanted for this whole years.. and eventually it breaks my heart.. I hope someone understand my feelings… all this.. I’m not trying to push, but it is only me who hoping…. Is it only me to changed and I did and I never ever stop to be how u want me to be.. nothing to be proud eh…

Hurmm… how I wanted to wrote about my life path, what has happened to me lately.. but I really feels like a sucks… I can smile, I can laugh and I still can make people laugh.. but I felt empty inside me.. I know it is time for me to do something with myself..

Heart - Hard....

When someone isn't have the faith for you...........
When someone isn't just into you anymore.........
When someone might have others in their heart....
You are just like leftovers from last nite dinner... hopeless.... and helpless...

A Little Wishlist....

I woke up this morning, despite of the stomach pain I had, from my house driving all the way to office, a journey of an hour was filled with my thought of San Francisco and NYC. Yes it is right. I fall in love with the place. And as a determination, I wish I could spend my retirement there, in SF, specifically Sausalito. (Yeah it is the place after England and Australia).

I find it calming. The scenery was beyond great. Plant and sea is my thing. Kinda boring for some people, but I’m looking at somewhere calming to retreat. How I wish I could visit there sometimes sooner.

Ok girl, saving up! You got places to visit.

There.. there... isn't it easy to fall in love with this

Heart Burst - Part II

ahhh.... so long frens... so many stories in between... bitter sweet... a lot bitterness.. hehe.. but still have the sweetness...

At this moment, all I need to do is cuddling into a ball n never woke up again.....

Why at the moment I breath out my joys that I have been waiting like ages, then there comes the storm as well.. can't I be happy longer and enjoy the feelings... hurmm... patience is highly needed.. but I felt like thrown from a building.. very very down....

Heart Burst!............. Part 1

I should have abundant myself in any isolated island and live there.. Yes I think I should do that…

I did not ask for anything but only understanding and endless love. Why now I felt like the love isn’t there anymore.. is it really true I’m not doing anything.. isn’t it me thinking every seconds of you.. isn’t it me rush from one point to another point in life, work, or anything just for you… holding on anything and show the strongest part just for you.. keep all the sorrow and pain just to not let you knew how much I hurt inside.. coz I cant bear to see you worried sick about me..

I guess all the answer is NO… coz no one can do better than you or any other girl.. likewise said, others can do better than me.. what I did is talking.. no action… maybe it is time for me…. It is not me who belong there, in your heart…

Really is it not me… its hurt.. totally hurt… but this is not about me.. I only care about people I love the most.. it never about me… as long as my love is happy, it is ok with me to hurt..

Only one thing I wish to say, in case you haven’t aware yet… I LOVE U WITH ALL OF MY HEART.. until you said it is done between us, I will be here.. coz I don’t know where else I belong to be..

p/s: should start google on the island…….. any suggestion??

Song of The Week

Song of The Week

I like this song.. Personally I just fall in love with this song.. The lyrics are full of meanings and very close to my heart…..

Ku menatap dalam kelam
Tiada yang bisa ku lihat
Selain hanya namaMu ya Allah

Esok ataukah nanti
Ampuni semua salahku
Lindungi aku dari segala fitnah

Kau tempatku meminta
Kau beriku bahagia
Jadikan aku selamanya
HambaMu yang selalu bertakwa

Ampuniku ya Allah
Yang sering melupakanMu
Saat Kau limpahkan karuniaMu
Dalam sunyi aku bersujud

Esok ataukah nanti
Ampuni semua salahku
Lindungi aku dari segala fitnah

Kau tempatku meminta
Kau beriku bahagia
Jadikan aku selamanya
HambaMu yang selalu bertakwa

Ampuniku ya Allah
Yang sering melupakanMu
Saat Kau limpahkan karuniaMu
Dalam sunyi aku bersujud

Kau tempatku meminta
Kau beriku bahagia
Jadikan aku selamanya
HambaMu yang selalu bertakwa

Ampuniku ya Allah
Yang sering melupakanMu
Saat Kau limpahkan karuniaMu

Dalam sunyi aku bersujud
Padamu

Kebahagiaan Datang Dari Hati~

I found these word today…. KEBAHAGIAAN DATANG DARI HATI… happiness comes from your inside.. yes dear heart, makes the things that counted brings happiness and joys.. lets surround our heart with good feelings, be positive and look straight into the future.. always believe that Allah will give you the best, your prayers will be answered and have faith… I wish for a miracle on us… InsyaAllah……………

A Little of Something I Ask...

From the previous entry…………..

Well it is not as bad as everyone thought of.. at least I try not to think as it is.. my work is total mess.. the co I working on now will be shutting down their operations. Can’t wait till the 1^st week of April for the official announcement. There are so many possibilities for us. Might be transfer to the headquarters’ office, might be redundant or maybe been absorbed by our client (if they likes us so much).. I dare not to say anything or assume anything. Just hope the best will come out and I will continue with my life. There’s an offer for me.. where I will definitely take it. I can’t bear not to take it. It is not my pride to be demanding. I can’t…

Never think I will face this phase in my life.. where judgments is crucial and I have to choose… I’ve been working so hard in so many things. I just wish I can get the ends as what I want it to be. Nevertheless, I know that anything could happen. To swallow it is a very tough, but to hold into it, I wonder if I’m the only one trying to hold tight. Tears is very to fall nowadays.. not to show weakness, but it is the only way to ease my feelings..

Will you be with me? Through the darkness… will you be with me? Endure this pain… I will always be here, as long as you need me to be.. to be your strength to be your courage… to be your enemy and to be your lovers… I really hope at this moment, there are miracles coming on my way shortly. Not for me, but for one that I care the most.. Please Allah, I need your help… show us some lights.. I really need Your guide…

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku…

Sesungguhnya hambaMu ini telah banyak melupakanMu

Ampunkan dosa-dosa kami Ya Allah..

Berikanlah petunjuk dan hidayahMu buat kami

Ku mohon agar dipermudahkan jalan bagi kami

Ya Allah Yang Maha Kuasa..

Bukakan lah pintu hati kami

Bukakan lah pintu rezeki buat kami

Semoga apa yang kami usahakan

Apa yang kami impikan termakbul Ya Allah

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin….

Song of The Week

Wow... One month passed without anything at all... Not something to boast about.. hmm.. I will tell in the next post… how my life turning upside down for the past few month..

It will be a cure for some people as I known as bringing a bad luck and not to be missed though........